the underpass- 397 words

I exhaled in the September night and left a part of myself in the air, drifting ghost-like, a translucent body, a symbol for something with no name. I pulled the leather jacket closer, breathing in cold and the familiar smokey scent of Uncle Matthew, that lone wolf gone now from the cancer. The weight was comforting, the way it lay on my arms; it made me feel like I was part of the night. Part of the dark pavement, the long shadows, the cloudy sky. Spotted with stars, I wouldn't know where to look for the moon.

A soft "ding" signified that Madeline had gotten a text. She looked down at her phone, face bathed in pale light as we walked towards an overpass, graffiti on the cement columns holding up the highway, shards of glass crunching under our boots.

“Hey,” I looked up at the accusatory greeting, noticing a figure huddled by the wall and sitting on a flattened cardboard box. “Are you a boy or a girl?” I hesitated, but Madeline looped her arm through mine and started to walk faster. “You're just a confused little shit, aren't you?” Madeline tightened her hold on my arm and I thought it would go numb; all the blood seemed to be draining down into my legs, turning them into heavy, foreign objects. “I have a rule,” he yelled after us, “I never get in the sack with shemales!” The foreign feeling intensified, focusing like a point of light through a magnifying glass in my chest. I clutched at Uncle Matthew's jacket and Madeline's arm, wanting to melt into the glossy black pavement.

Later, I stood before myself in the mirror, with the reassurances and comforts of my friend Madeline drowned out in my mind by an encounter with a stranger. My ears still burned, prickling with embarrassment. For Madeline, it was just a matter of a crazy homeless guy. I looked at my reflection. The heat in my ears wouldn't go away.

That night at six am when I couldn't sleep and the sun began to rise, I watched from the window as light spread from the water to the beach, rivulets of sun trickling through the sand. A hawk flew overhead, spreading wide its wings, embracing the sky. I watched the hawk fly, and later, when I woke up, I couldn't remember ever having fallen asleep.